I'm still pretty depressed about what happened last week. It's like getting to meet Captain Kangaroo, and then turning the corner of the set and seeing Mr. Green Jeans smoking crack. I've had this hollow pain in the pit of my stomach since then.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Parrot's oratory stuns scientists

Today I became very cynical, disillusioned, and disappointed with the human race. A little bit of the joy in my life was forcibly ripped out from my heart, chewed up, and spit back in my face.

Maybe it's time to start a new hobby.

A friend of mine told me about this Bands Reunited thing on VH1. They are going to have some pretty cool bands on... Romeo Void, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Berlin... I usually have VH1 and MTV turned off on my TV because it's just so awful, but I tuned in channel 30 tonight to see Romeo Void.

I swear, I did earnestly try, but it's not on yet and I just can't stand any more torture from VH1. When did every entertainment enterprise in the US become so damn smug and sarcastic? "The 100 Worst Music Videos Ever"? Fuck you, VH1. Fuck you. You make your zillions on those "bad" videos, and then turn around and trash them. What hypocrisy. It's this contant shoving of commercial crap down the public's throat and immediate reguirgitation of said crap, 24 hours a day, that lines your pockets with filthy regurgitated crap covered money. And who the hell are these people they get to comment on the videos? If anything, they are the ones who should be trashed. There's usually one person who actually is fond of the material (tonight it's the lovely and charming Justin Bond) and seven or eight other dorks who apparently have cable envy so bad they'd actually trash videos just to get a gig. And I swear, these shows have to be as completely scripted as Jerry Springer, there's absolutely nothing on them that sounds remotely like an original thought. Hey, Viacom! I have a new idea for a show. "The 100 Crappiest Video List Shows Ever"! Or how about "The Two Worst Things To Ever Happen To Music: MTV And VH1"? Run with it!

Here's another thought... if you're fishing for compliments, and don't get them the first, second, third and fourth time, don't go for a fifth.

Here's an idea.

If you want to be anonymous on the Internet... make up a name, make up a birthdate, make up a life, and just stick to those details. Don't make up a "code name" like "CoolDood" or whatever and only tell people that, and refuse to give your real name when asked because you are worried about being recognized or whatever. It's just a lot easier if you lie instead.

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